Lockdown in Paris : Day Thirty-One
Thursday 17th April
9h40 : And here it is, day 31, a month when the month is as long as a month can be. Technically we should have just 24 days left of confinement - but I’m not going to put all my weight on that leg just yet. Instead, I’m going to eat some porridge and read until midday. Again. Also in case you are wondering, the wee beastie that is the feature image on today’s post is my Kinder Egg surprise. He is without a doubt the weirdest thing I’ve ever had out of a Kinder Egg - a kind of demented alien dog - but nevertheless we have named him Donnie, since Yorkshire-Laur feels sure he is modelled on Donnie Darko.
10h : My parcel has disappeared. I ring up Chronopost and a recorded voice tells me there is (at least) a 15 minute wait, which clearly means there are three thousand other people whose parcels have been spirited away. I hang up. On the website, the tracking number for my parcel helpfully brings up the insight that the parcel has failed to be delivered. Thank goodness they’re around to tell me these things - what would I do if I did not have Chronopost to cheerfully point out that the thing I have ordered is not in my possession.
13h06 : Finished a bit of work and will now return to the sunshine to see what Cromwell’s up to. Anne of Cleves’ name is being chucked around and my brain wants to jump up and down and shout, “Don’t do it Cromwell! Not Anne of Cleves! Pick someone else!” as if I really can change the history of the British monarchy through the power of thought via a novel.
14h20 : Going out AGAIN today, which feels very indulgent! I was only outside on Tuesday, but I need a bottle of Côte du Rhône. This was the wine of choice for my friend Adam-of-London and I when he lived in Paris, and it is now a venerated tradition. It will not surprise you to hear that CDR (as we have come to call it) is usually the cheapest red available on any given wine list or supermarket shelf across France. If you want to fulfil the stereotype of the “starving artist” in Paris - something we regularly endeavoured to do, since it lends a lovely sheen to your dreadful life choices - a €3.50 CDR will set you on the right path. Yesterday he sent me a photo of the label on the bottle and a question mark, so tonight it’s CDR o’clock once more.
15h : Apparently they are sending my parcel to a post office. Well. That seems sensible. I suppose I’ll be going outside again tomorrow - that’s three times in a week! This is getting out of hand.
16h15 : While at the shop I may or may not have accidentally bought two big bars of Milka chocolate with biscuits built in. While having my afternoon cup of tea I decided to open one of them, and eat a few squares - because what goes better than tea and chocolate and biscuit? - and you already know the end of this little anecdote. One Milka bar down.
19h50 : Ok listen I’m going to level with you here, I fell asleep. I fell asleep for a really long time. Like three hours long. Woke up to find a text on my phone from Yorkshire-Laur that just said, “Drink?” So I stumbled towards the corkscrew and cracked open the Côte du Rhône still half asleep. She picked up the video call while I was pouring a glass and saying thickly, “I-don’t-know-what’s-happening-I-just woke-up.” And that was the introduction to my evening.
20h30 : After a quick glass with Laur it was time for more wine with London-Adam, and he sent me a Google hangouts link which “should work with any browser.” I snorted. Fat chance. I clicked it. Hangouts is not supported on this browser. I informed him of this and he said, “I don’t even want to know what version you’re using.” Which is handy because I couldn’t tell him anyway. PrehistoricX. DarkAgesPro. GeriatricS.
22h40 : Forgot to eat dinner of the whole sleeping until Wine Time so crashed about in the kitchen with the uncoordinated determination that rides in on the coat-tails of alcohol. Ate that risotto I made about two weeks ago. After burning it to the bottom of the pan I did remember to add butter and cheese at the end to make it worth it, and I chewed it thoughtfully while musing on whether or not the bacon bits in it had been around long enough to make the following few days particularly unpleasant, or whether the rice had developed that thing that rice can develop that is hell bent on killing you. I ate the entire bowl of it, obviously, and hoped for the best.
23h15 : You would think that after 10 hours sleep and a 3 hour nap I would not be in the mood for sleeping, but you would be wrong.
