Lockdown in Paris : Day Thirty
Wednesday 15th April
9h20 : Woke up excited about eating porridge, which is a sentence I never thought I’d hear myself type.
12h10 : Once again somehow managed to read until midday, which all things considered is not a bad habit to fall into. Cromwell is still flying high, Jane Seymour just died, Henry’s leg is bothering him, yadda yadda Tudors blah.
12h35 : Waiting for a parcel delivery today which I feel sure will go wrong, because deliveries in Paris always go wrong. When they arrive at your building the delivery bods call to tell you they are there with your parcel. No no, they just click a button on their fancy device to say you weren’t there to receive it. Which you weren’t, you are not psychic, and cannot really be expected to stand outside your front gate “from 8am - 6pm” which - even if it were feasible - is currently against the law.
13h : Get an email saying my parcel hasn’t been delivered since I wasn’t there. This is how the game is played. Now said parcel will be passed around various addresses in Paris before disappearing completely. What’s in the parcel? Well I shall tell you. It’s another shampoo that I’ve persuaded myself is going to change my life. This one is a particular curve-ball because this shampoo has no shampoo in it. I also bought an aloe vera hair mask. Both of which are now making their way to addresses as yet unknown. I expect the little picture on the website when I ordered is the most I will ever see of them.
13h15 : Kate-who-lives-in-the-woods calls for a quick chat.
17h50 : Get off the phone to Kate-who-lives-in-the-woods. During this time I made 1 cup of coffee and 2 cups of tea, she knitted the best part of a sock, and we endeavoured to fix each other’s past, present and future lives, so it’s a miracle we were only on for 4 hours really. I felt like I’d spent more than four hours in the woods, which was an amazing bonus - trees swooshing, light changing, birds singing, clouds rolling - it was like I’d been sitting on a tree stump all that time.
18h43 : Haven’t eaten since porridge, so am now ravenous. Must try not to eat all the salt and vinegar crisps I bought yesterday, but now I’ve thought about them there’s very little chance of them dodging that fate.
21h11 : Watched a documentary about that massive house that will now forever be “Downton Abbey” despite the fact that it was Highclere Castle for a few hundred years before Lord Grantham and Lady Mary et al. rocked up. It was quite interesting in a “These are problems I’ll never have to think about” kind of way - I doubt I’ll ever have to worry about whether or not I should cull a few extra deer or restore the silk wallpaper in the drawing room, but there we are. The narrator did a jolly good job of trying to make everyone feel ok about the fact that the current residents have a gigantic neo-Gothic palace on 5,000 acres of land by saying things like “Once upon a time the estate would have had dozens of servants working round-the-clock, but today the family have just two resident chefs, three grounds keepers, twelve gardeners, seven horses, a priceless van Dyck, the most popular TV drama in living memory and a butler called Colin.” My heart positively bled for poor Lord and Lady Carnarvon, how they must SUFFER.
21h24 : Well it’s a short entry today my lovely blogsters, I did spend ever such a long time in the woods today and feel like I’ve been on a sort of holiday for it. What have you done today?
